I am just so broken.
I like the lights in my room.
I’m so stressed out. I don’t know what college I’m going to next year. I don’t know if I’ll move out of town or even out of my house, I don’t know if my parents will help me financially after I graduate high school. I don’t know what choices I need to make in order to be happy and successful, I don’t know how to define happiness or success as I want it. I dont know what I want.
I don’t want to make a choice that I will regret later, I don’t want to choose the wrong college or major or career path. I don’t know what I will want in the future. Maybe I won’t even want a career, maybe I will spend an exorbitant amount on an education and then realize that all I want is to raise a family.
I don’t want to accidentally ruin my life. I know that most of these desicions aren’t nessicarily permanent. I can switch colleges if I need to, change my plans. But its hard not to feel like this will all be set in stone, and its hard not to feel like failure is imminent.
I feel so much pressure to succceed and use the resources I have to the best of my ability, but I don’t know if I’m capable.
I’m terrified of failing. Its all I can think about.
End emotional breakdown. (for today)